In the logic of things and Mathematics, which remains the core of logic in all respects, what’s happening now does not make sense. No matter how you look at it, numbers do not add up, the lockdown strategy implemented almost world-wide creates more problems than actual solutions, and there simply cannot be a germ-free “new order” because it does not work for spatial, economic, psychological reasons, to name only a few important ones.
This, I have established quite a few weeks ago, by browsing some titles, looking at the said numbers, putting one and one together and talking to these and those. People are reacting out of fear, full stop. If anything and if you’re rather clear-headed, you easily notice this craziness has brought to the surface how corrupt most governments are, how few people believe in more than the immediate – and what little power they have to convince others – how sad that blind obeyance has replaced intelligent reasoning. And possibly how God laughs at us with one eye, while crying for us with the other.
Since there is nothing I can personally do to change any of the above, I decided to use a bit differently this time of home confinement (or as I prefer to call it, “domicile arrest” – for what else is it when police nearly looks inside your home to see if you’re not an infractor?) So I’ve stopped watching the news and I could not be bothered if schools start in two weeks or in September. It was enough to know they haven’t done one iota to instruct kids during this time – interestingly, this was confirmed in a phone conversation I had with the principal of my kid’s school the other day, after I sent an email asking how come the grade 4 haven’t had ONE lesson of Math or English in 7 weeks. She said: “the Education Board has actually made clear that during the pandemic, the emphasis is not on instruction but on the well-being of the children.” Hm. Dear Education Board and acolytes, I have news for you: you are supposed to find ways to educate kids, thats why we pay you (taxes, anyone?); the children’s overall well-being is their parents’ job. Well, it seems the education now falls entirely under the parents’ responsibility. Tough, for very many. I feel for those parents, they’re completely unequipped.
So yes, I’ve homeschooled my kid – which I’m considering continuing even when this stupidity is over. I also continued to cook – for the 5 people in my household, four of whom are adults and luckily sometimes they’ve helped. I did some drawings. I switched my tutoring to teaching online and I made my own observations and notes as to how challenging this is, and impossible to consider as a long-term alternative, especially for smaller age groups given short attention spans, lack of discipline, basic manner, and variations in personality.
What I haven’t managed to do much was to relax and organize my own schedule. I am constantly surrounded by members of my family. I crave my few hours of alone-time I had when they were in school or at work, outside the house. That was the period I could organize my thoughts and my time. Going for walks by myself is the only alternative – but it’s not the same. I don’t know about you, but I think better when I have paper and pencil in front of me.
I haven’t watched many movies either and I haven’t read as much as I used to – maybe because my brain associates these activities with keeping informed… which I am resisting actually? I don’t write much either. I had wanted to keep a sort of diary of this period… but somehow, details of stupidity have ceased to interest me. I wish this nightmare were over, the Coronavirus hoax. Well, I have wished before that people used their brains. But they don’t – its easier not to. Afraid for their bellies and precarious lives, desperate to be seen and heard, the majority glides through the lies they are fed and consume fake news, while accepting to be incarcerated in their own little prisons in the name of safety.
And where’s the joy to be had in all of this? I’ve talked to God a bit during this time – He probably said a good few important things, not that I, the sinner, have good ears to hear. Still. It was truly awesome to see all families at our church attending the online shortened service on Pascha evening and then socializing with them over an extended zoom session. One of our priests said: is it just me or Orthodoxy and social distancing is an oxymoron? The best oxymoron, Father – I replied laughing. There is no social distancing, that’s bullshit. People cannot live without hugs and kisses and holding hands. If faced with the certitude of death, most would want to be held close by a dear one. So why do we refuse ourselves the joy to live free of fear? I’d rather be free for a few days or hours, than living like a dead for years in a row. Christ has conquered death so we can be free and joyful… come on, people! And by the way, He is Risen indeed!