When Anita had invited Becky for a visit during the summer, she had known perfectly well it wouldn’t be a breeze. But she had checked with Gabe about when he could take some time off in August and he had said the second week. So Anita wrote to Becky and said that – now Becky being Becky, wrote back and pushed it: so do you think you can stand me for two weeks? Anita rolled her eyes when she saw the message and texted back: the second week is the best, after that we’re getting busy for the fall. I can always come for Christmas, replied Becky. Oh my God. We might be going away for Christmas this year, come the second week of August. OK.
Of course, Gabe did not take time off. He just sat there, working from home at the newly relocated desk in her office – damn Covid, damn it, damn it – and had business calls on both Monday and Tuesday, ignoring everybody during the day and spending all evenings in deep conversations with his sister. Anita was slowly and surely going bonkers. OK, I can do this. She talked to their friends in Montreal and arranged an overnight trip for everybody in the household except herself during Thursday-Friday. She also somewhat entertained Becky by taking her out on a hike together with their two younger kids, all while cursing under her breath that her oldest – Becky’s god-daughter, no less – had not bothered showing up from wherever she was again spending her time, despite having promised she’d be home for her aunt’s visit. On top of everything, she had found Kitty, the youngest, on her older sister laptop for the n-th time and, well, she arrested that laptop.
Now Tuesday night Leah did decide to show up at home. And she went straight to her room then to her mom demanding her laptop in a raised voice – naturally, if we were to judge that had become her typical behaviour, verbally abusive to everyone in the household and towards her mom in particular. Anita said no. Leah raised the volume higher. Anita said step out of my office, I also need to do some work. Leah refused and kept demanding the laptop. Anita replied I’m really tired of your requests given that you can’t keep your promises. Gabe, also typically, intervened saying what he said best: stop shouting. As if that had worked even once in the past 6 years – you’d think he was cleverer. Becky felt like intervening too, because she always knew best – with the same knowledge that she had displayed earlier that day over a long breakfast when she had conducted an unsolicited counseling session with her sister in law, the only difference to actual counseling being that it was Becky-the-counselor who did the taking in explaining how terrible Anita was at being a mother and a wife. Becky, of course, spoke from her non-existent experience of both positions.
So, as spirits got heated and Anita felt again alone among people who were blaming her for, well, everything, she finally exploded. Said one or two things at Leah, then Gabe, then Becky – incidentally she let it slip that Becky had absolutely no clue how she had enabled Leah’s behaviour two years ago when she had bought Leah that laptop. Then she went upstairs, packed a small suitcase and texted her good friend it’s crazy here, can I spend the night. Sure, come over. She cried and cried once there, then she went to sleep. She woke up early next morning and said to herself: I will not be driven out of my house by some emotionally handicapped people, they’ve abused the situation for 25 freaking years. She refrained from recounting why she had put up with that for so long – now she knew a bit better. She had done some homework. Plus, she was actually the queen of her household, whether they liked it or not.
Once home, she had a small breakfast and went to their bedroom to lie down. Menopausal night sweats had been torturing her for more than a month and last night was no different, on top of all the commotion. Fuck being a woman. She woke from the nap to go to an acupuncture session she had scheduled for this very issue, the hot flashes. On her way out, she noticed Becky and Gabe talking on the backyard deck. Gabe quickly disappeared as Becky quietly said: Anita, I thought of changing my plane ticket and leave earlier. Anita gave her a quick look and felt like shouting: have you fucking heard I’m on my way out to an appointment, is this a good time to discuss this? But then a wave of tiredness invaded her and she instinctively realized she wasn’t being asked, she was simply informed. So she said ok, Becky, do as you please, I don’t care. The truth was she really didn’t care any more. Gabe was obviously taking Becky’s side, again.
The afternoon was strangely quiet. At dinner, Leah had disappeared again and Becky pretended to be asleep in the basement where she was camped. One of the kids mentioned Becky was leaving the next day, she had ready changed her ticket. That’s it, thought Anita, I’m quite fed up with the teenagers percentage in the household. She went downstairs and asked what was going on. Becky replied why, didn’t you say you don’t care. Well, did you actually want to talk or your mind was already made up at noon. Was that whole shouting just a pretext to blame me for buying that laptop for Leah. Bla bla bla… Gabe shouted can we have dinner now. So Becky conformed, for the sake of her dear brother. We will continue the talk after dinner, she informed Anita.
At this point, Anita said to herself: I’m going to be polite and go for a walk, I’m going to listen to whatever she has to say, who knows maybe I learn something I don’t know. And learn she did. About Becky’s impossibility of dealing with fights – why, Becky, this has been my life for many years – not that Becky cared for the reasons, she kept blaming Anita for being the impulsive one. And then about the fights in Becky and Gabe’s house as they had been growing up and how Becky had been terrified of these and promised herself she would NEVER marry someone she didn’t truly love. Well, that confirms all my assumptions about the “happy marriage” of my in-laws, thought Anita, oh, Gabe, I’m soooooo not the stupid girl you’d wanted me to be, you asked how do I know your parents haven’t been happy together, hey your mother is the saddest person I know, stupid… And while Anita kept thinking and listening, Becky continued saying I’m not your enemy, Anita, you’ve always competed with me but I would have liked nothing better than being your best friend and indeed, if only you’d have wanted it, Anita, I could have been your best friend. Ummm, no. No, you could have never been my best friend, Becky. But Anita did not say why. Becky kept the conversation going by laying out all of Anita’s flaws which have prevented this amazing friendship to flourish, while Anita allowed herself to think: Becky, you don’t have a life. Your life is centered on my family and you think you can always come here and be the sixth member. No, you cannot be part of this family the way you want it. It’s un-natural. I should be the main woman in my husband’s life but I’m not – because he cries inside for his sad mom, he feels somewhat responsible for you, his little sister who is all alone with her Norwegian cat (which you, Becky, unknowingly terrorize by having made her into a house pet while she is as wild as a linx), he doesn’t know what to do with his teenage daughter and so he throws himself into the playing with his younger one… Fucked up people!
Anita stopped in the middle of the road and turned to Becky: ok, so I’ve heard all about how horrible I am. Now how about we talk about you and Gabe?
What? Becky was startled. Well, yeah, since he doesn’t want to go counseling, maybe you have some answers, I can see you’ve read a lot of psychology lately.
Becky mumbled something and then attacked again. Just like Gabe, Anita thought – the difference was that this time she phased out. No, she did not engage, she let Becky go on and on about how Anita would do better to change and have positive thoughts and care more about the people around her. Anita gave out a snort (if anything, from this moment onward I’ll care so much less, I’ve cared waaaaay too much about everybody’s shit) – sorry, I got something in my throat.
When they said good night, Anita embraced Becky and said: I’m really glad we talked, thank you. Becky was beaming because, as usual, she was too obtuse to see that talk had been quite possibly the last with her sister in law.
Leah showed up in the morning ready to go to Montreal. She was naturally surprised to hear Becky was flying home. So … are we still going to Montreal? If everyone else wants to, I can take you, said Anita. But I thought you wanted to rest, said Kitty. Indeed but hey, look at how plans have changed. This is crazy, said Leah. I couldn’t agree more, said Anita. But let’s have breakfast, the only meal when we’re all six at home this week. Anita called everyone down and sat at the table surrounded by her three children. Gabe and Becky simply did not show up. After nibbling for a while, Anita and the kids went upstairs and then heard the two siblings in the living room. What the fuck. She went downstairs and found the two sipping tea and coffee, while whispering as if conspiratively. Now, THIS is truly teenagerish! Anita shouted. Gabe looked up and counterattacked: on which side? On everybody’s side, for goodness sake! You two couldn’t come to breakfast and I am still the guilty one? You’re nuts, both of you.
Later on that day, Gabe took the kids to Montreal. Anita spent an hour at the pool, then came home, had some supper, fixed herself a drink and appropriately watched a crime movie. She slept well, finally. There wasn’t much of a tension between her and Gabe upon their return home, simply because she didn’t care (yes, she found it unexplicably easy to care much less, all of a sudden – well, prayers do work eventually, you know). Was Gabe tense? He was unusually quiet – Anita’s heart nearly missed a beat thinking that maybe he finally understood something? By a little nasty remark he made she realized though that he was still the good ol’ guy who placed her in the fifth position. Oh well. I’ll build that business, make some money, find myself a lover and have a good life. I’m quite sure I’ll grow again into being an interesting catch for my husband.
As for the cat-lady, she flew away, not to be bothered about again. Who knows if she ever figured out anything, never mind a life of her own.
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